and a clean kitchen...

 I realized that I could never clean houses for a living. I would hate on whoever messed it up! I spent the day thoroughly cleaning the kitchen of our old place. When we moved here, many of the drawers, cabinets, etc had a ton of junk in them- which I left because we were only going to be here for a short time. The new families will be here much longer, so I decided to do the deep cleaning I would have liked upon my arrival. The problem? There were not many cleaner options. So as I sat on the floor scrubbing the oven vent hood with a nail brush and vinegar, I remembered something that a past friend used to say. "Constraints are the building blocks of ingenuity". I laughed out loud at the irony. Scrubbing and cleaning (and this quote) gave me an opportunity to think. A lot. 8 hours worth to be exact. It made me realize some things:
1) I am so incredibly glad that God's idea of forgiveness is not like ours! His forgiveness is complete and absolute, unlike my own. It does not ask me to explain or even try to understand. It is just offered to me. Not because of my character or my good deeds. Not because I earned it or any other reason. If is just because He chose to.
2) I am glad that my identity is found in Him. I am a mess. We all are. The older we get, the more I realize that life is capable of pulling the rug out from under you at any moment. You can be one thing for so long, only to have it taken away in a moment. If we place our identities in them, we will fall apart when they do. Jesus never falls apart! If our identity is in Him, we are secure!
3) I am far too obsessive to allow things to fall through, but God is asking me to let go. Be flexible. Everything in my current life would not have ever been something I would have imagined or fathomed. Living with no direction, no expectations, or any structure is all but killing us! But it has helped me to let go. (Maybe only a little😁)
4) I hate vinegar. Completely irrelevant from a spiritual standpoint, but true none the less!
My hands are pruny and I am sooooo tired. One more week and it will be over!