Planning

Planning
I am a planner. I like to make sure everything that can possibly go wrong has been thought through and a plan of action has been initiated. I like to have the ability to know exactly what may come up so there is a plan of combat and we continue on to our destination with minimal upset. So this trip- can I tell you how much I have had to pray? I have analyzed, planned, booked, basically done all but taken it. Yet I am still afraid of missing something. I am so afraid of it, that I have had to talk myself out of situations that don't even exist! I tell myself that it is because I want to make sure we have a great time and a flawless experience, but honestly? I just have a problem. Trust. I need to trust that, at the end of the day, we will arrive where we need to be. It is times like this that remind me how much work God still needs to do in me. I have had to quote Prov. 3:5-6 over and over this last year. I have watched so many things turn around simply by letting go of my own understanding and leaning on Him. Then, I do something with less of a life impact- like a family trip- and it all goes out the window! In comes my understanding, which is actually quite hilarious because I have never even been to any of the countries we are visiting, nor the hotels we are staying. I have not taken their trains, eaten in their establishments, nor visited their monuments. I have only researched it. Why would I have any actual understanding? Often times, it is the little things that bring me back to this reality. I CAN do this on my own. I CAN lean on my own understanding. I CAN gain all the knowledge and information the internet has to offer. Yet, it does not compare to experience. I am finding that in so many areas of my life. I have a choice to plan my own life leaning on my own understanding- which lacks experience. Or, I can lean on the Creator of my life, who knows me even more that I presume to know myself. He has a plan. He has ordained my days. My moments. He knows the road I had to travel and He was there through it all. The things I have gone through are not foreign to Him. He can relate to all of my experiences. He is our helper. He is our stronghold. He is our deliverer. He was before us and He will be after us. Why is it so hard to trust Him? He has never been anything but faithful! He is part of the big things, but He also loves the little things. Things that may not be of life-changing impact (like family trips) matter to Him because they matter to us. Being here in Hungary has been a huge magnifying glass. It reminds me that I may not matter to man, but I matter so much in the eyes of The Lord! Isn't that the most important thing? We are of value to Him. His goal is to lead us to a place where we are fully reliant on Him. A place where we can trust in The Lord with ALL our heart, acknowledging Him in ALL our ways. It is there we can reap the blessing of this promise: He WILL direct our path.