Moving On

Sometimes, you forget how much you is in you! I am a person who loves order. I love when a task is complete. I love knowing exactly what is going on and what part I play in it. I am quiet, orderly, and try my hardest to hide in the background of life. My husband is very similar to me in the fact that he loves order. The difference, however, is that he LOVES being a part of everything. He thrives on being with people. He loves parties and socializing. He loves telling stories and being funny. He attracts people wherever he goes. His personality is alluring and contagious. There is no way that I could ever do half of what he does. I couldn't fathom being the center of attention by choice. The thought actually mortifies me! So, in preparation for this new venture of our life, I have had to "fake it till I make it". I am terrified because this is so opposite of me; of my personality. I wish I were braver and more adventurous. I pray for God to make me super excited about this. But, at the core of everything I am still me. The blessing? He knows that. He knows every single thing in my heart. He knows my fears. He knows my struggles. He knows my body and He knows my mind. He knows exactly how this is affecting me, and He promises that His grace is sufficient. The past two days have been surreal. I have felt as if I am incapable of making any coherent decisions. I feel confused and dazed, but I know that God is still with me. Matter of fact, He is the one that is carrying me through these tough choices in my life. His promises are the balm that soothes my soul. His strength is the only way I am even able to move. I am blessed immeasurably by those I call family and friends. Their encouragement and understanding have been paramount during this transitional period. I know all the reasons this is "no big deal", but to me- it is a BIG DEAL! So many new things to think about. So many things we will miss out on. I know that this season is one for us to seek the Lord and see what He wants to do in us. I know that there is blessings in obedience. I know that I will be glad to have had this opportunity. I know all of those things are true. I was not excited to come to IB, but it has been one of the biggest blessings in my life! That said, leaving the country for a year is daunting! It requires a ton if preparation. I guess I need to just be me and start making those lists! :)

                                      "Make your petition deep, O heart of mine,
                                                  Your God can do much more
                                                          Than you can ask;
                                        Launch out on the Divine,
                                                  Draw from His love-filled store.
                                       Trust Him with everything;
                                                  Begin today,
                                       And find the joy that comes
                                                  When Jesus had His way!"

A New Beginning

We have been blessed to be a part of what God is doing at Calvary Imperial Beach. It is amazing to see everyone come together and serve. The friends we made and the times we had will always be a blessing to me. You all will be missed! It is surreal to think that we will be gone soon! A new chapter of our life will begin. I am sad because I loved the old one, but I know that God's way is perfect and He is with us. So, we will be moving to Hungary to rest and seek the Lord. During this time, we will be taking a year and praying through to see His direction for our family. Will you pray with us? Pray for wisdom, health, our family, our relationship with God and each other, guidance, and peace. I know that He will meet us as we seek Him. Thank you all for the times of love and grace you lavished upon our family. We will always be overwhelmed by your love and grace towards us. Continue to pursue Jesus above all else. Until we meet again!

Wake up

"For he was looking forward to the city that has foundations, whose designer and builder is God." Hebrews 11:10

This verse here is talking about Abraham. Abraham, by faith, followed the voice of God. He went to foreign lands and made difficult decisions. He messed up, made poor choices, let his wife take the lead, paid for it DEARLY😉,  lost a son, gained a nation, but the entire time his heart was set upon listening to God's voice. This verse in Hebrews sums it up beautifully! What a great encouragement. As leaders and ministers of God's word, this is a comfort and wake up call. It is a comfort because we know that everything we do means little in light of the hope and promise of heaven. The effort and work we put into raising His people is not for earthly rewards. We are promised so much more! That joy propels us to pour into the people He has entrusted to us GLADLY! It is comforting to know that we don't have to save them or keep them in His grace, we simply need to fix our eyes on heaven and allow His grace to work through us. The wake up call? We need to fix our eyes on Heaven and allow His grace to work through us! We need to remember that this kingdom- this church- is His. Everything we do is for Him. We need to be looking forward to heaven! We need to remember that church size, fruit, or any other manifestation of spiritual growth is not for us to further our kingdom on earth, but to impart the promise and hope of an eternal life with Jesus. What a terribly scary and beautiful thing this is! We know Abraham- we think of his failures, we think of his strengths. However, God saw in Abraham HIS purpose! Does God see His purpose in me? Am I doing His will? Are the sacrifices I am bringing to Him pure or tainted? Lord, purge our hearts as leaders and refine us according to Your loving kindness and mercy. Teach us to look to Heaven, our hope and exceedingly great reward. Fill us with You, so we can lead others in the way of righteousness. May our hope be in heaven, where we will spend eternity with the Maker of our soul. Give us a love for the things You love. Make our heart Your home

Fear and Faith

Fear and Faith
"Fear and faith have something in common. They both ask us to believe in something we cannot see."

Fear. An old friend of mine. It has kept me from attempting so many things. It has robbed me of peace and joy. It has taken residence in my heart and identified itself with my being. Fear is an emotion we all have. Often we use it to hold us captive. It is all-encompassing. It is irrational. It is often a liar. It feeds on small amounts of truth mixed with large amounts of unknown. This emotion- fear- demands we surrender to it. It isn't polite. It doesn't prefer us. It doesn't even encourge us. Yet, it dwells in me. It asks me to believe it. Why do I succomb to it so often? Easy- I let it talk. I try to ignore it, but it speaks non-stop. Until I start to listen. Then it has me.
Faith is a reliance on something we cannot see. It is a hope in the unseen. It is a choice. It is also something in all of us. We have faith every day. We have faith in objects, people, places, and circumstances. Blind faith. How many of us can see our heart every morning when we wake up? Yet we trust that it will continue to pump blood to all the vital parts of our bodies. Or air? Have you ever thought about it not being available to you when you wake up? No- we trust in unseen things based on principles of truth. So, why does fear (which takes from me) govern my life and faith (that I often do without even thinking) take a back seat in it? I have been pondering that for some time now.
I have been praying for God to help me in this area. Sunday's sermon was an encouraging reminder to take our fear and turn it into faith. It was a call to fix our eyes on Jesus to make that happen. So, the answer is that easy? Yes... And no. The answer is easy, the solution? That requires us to have an intentional faith. Not a "wake up without thinking of all the things you trust" faith, but a faith which requires you to command your thoughts and emotions. A faith that takes the unseen fear and pushes it aside to fixate on the Lord and His promises. Faith and fear are actions. They are choices. But only one of them will change me for the better. Only one will break the chains of bondage and rip the cords that fear has entangled around me. Only one comes with the promise of eternal life, and hope for the life we are in... And it isn't fear!

Ps. 27:1

None of These Things Move Me

This year has been a tough one for our church. We have watched our senior pastor and his family go through so much. We have experienced the highs and lows of life. We have watched The Lord give and we have seen The Lord take away. The theme of our retreat this year was None of These Things Move Me. I was excited to go and sit. I was encouraged and strengthened. It was a call. A call to look at my life and ask myself, is Jesus really enough? I left wondering if He was. Not because He isn't sufficient- He us exceedingly, abundantly more than I could even imagine! (Two adjectives: it HAS to be true!) my question was actually to myself. Was Jesus enough for me? Was my identity found in Him? I love being a mother! I love that it is part of my identity. I love being a wife. I love serving The Lord. I love pouring into the lives of others. I love watching The Lord work through me. But, did I really believe that He was enough? You see, this life is all I know. By 23 I was married, had 2 kids, and my husband was a Pastor. I have never had to ask myself if Jesus was enough because I saw His blessings all around me. Yet at this retreat I had a realization. As I spent time alone with The Lord and searched my heart I realized I was not able to say with my whole heart that Jesus was enough. Thus, I was not able to claim the truth that none of these things will move me. I began to doubt my ability to believe that Jesus is enough. I even began to question my motives. Why am I serving The Lord? Is it for His glory? Or for my own? Am I seeking to build up His kingdom? Or was I merely striving to be holy in my own power? Then, as I sat there asking The Lord to help me, I was overwhelmed by His spirit. I was reminded of who He is. I realized that He is enough. So I began to pray. Every day I added this to my prayer: Lord, whatever comes my way today, please be enough for me. I began to see The Lord take the areas of doubt in my life and strengthen them through the Truth of His word. My devotions became a sweet time with Him. Worship began to be an attitude of my heart. The Lord began to strengthen my life and put me in a place where I can truly believe He will get me through all things. So, today I ask you this. Is Jesus enough in your life? Do you believe that He can cover every situation you encounter? Do you trust that He will sustain you? That, as you yield you heart to Him, you will come to a place where nothing will move you? Nothing will pull you away from The Lord? Not fear, not doubt. Not circumstances or insecurities. NO THING can move us if we believe this simple truth: He is enough!

Romans 8:38-39
"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."

Say what?

Have you ever felt as if you are out of control? Have you looked back at the things you've accomplished and asked yourself why? This is me. I have looked at the things I put my life to and realized I was way off. I am so sorry for you that expected the pastor's wife to have it all together. Actually, that couldn't be further from the truth. I have been reading the Word and focusing on how God can work in me, and I am humbled. I thought I was doing ok, but in the light of His word I fall short. I am often more like Martha. If God has a job for me, I am There! It is the slowing down that gets me. In this season of change, God is asking me to slow down and trust Him. He is calling me to find my refuge in Him. He is asking me to place my life in His hands because He is faithful. He can fulfill the longing. Do you know this? Do you realize that we are children of our amazing Creator? He loves you and me. His thoughts are towards you and me. His heart is for His children. He brings us to a place where we can see His beauty through our trials. Trust Him. Believe His promises. Trust Him to carry your burden. He is faithful. Are you troubled? Are you weary? Are you weighted down by the cares of this world. If that is you, then hear this. He IS faithful.

" Commit your way to The Lord. Trust in Him, and He will act." Ps 37:5

Blessed Assurance

This morning, as I wrestle through truth according to the spirt, I am choosing to trust Him. In light of who He is, I will trust Him. Ps. 31:14 says, "but I trust in you, O Lord. I say, 'You are my God'; My times are in your hand." I am reminded that He is Lord over all. He sees the entire picture, not just the section I choose to fixate on. His love is steadfast. His promises are sure. I can choose to believe my heart, which is deceitful, or His word, which is unchanging. Today, I am reminded of this blessed assurance: Jesus is Mine! I can lose everything I love in a flash, however, He will always be there. That promise is something I need to hold tightly to. I tend to hold tight to the things that are tangible and forget to place my trust in Him. His plans for me are for my good. He knows my heart and my weakness, yet He promises to be my strength. I am more than a conqueror in Him. Through Him I have the strength to do all things. So I will trust Him.

                        "Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good! Blessed is the man who takes refuge in
                                                              Him!" Psalm 34:8