Picture frame quotes

She did this all on her own!

Smile often

Be happy

Laugh out loud

Say I love you

Tell the truth

Have patience

Enjoy today

Oh the wisdom of picture frames! 

As we count down the final days, we get to breathe! I am so blessed by everyone who came and helped us move. It is apparent that so many of you love us! We love you, too! Today was "grandma goodbye" day. The kids said there final farewells. We even had Walmart adventures and In N Out to memorialize it! I only tried to "drive home" once. Good times! I cannot wait to get to Hungary! I miss people! I also miss congregational worship! We have been out preparing for our departure for so long that I ache for fellowship. Things have been tough these last weeks because everyone wants to say goodbye, but when you say goodbye it is sad. And hard. And somewhat awkward. But mostly just sad. I sit here looking at the 11 bags that will constitute our lives and I have no idea how to even conceptualize what is going to happen in this next year. I do know this- Jesus is there. He will see us safely, no matter where we go! I have been comforted by this fact. Jesus has gone before us. I am in Ruth and I find it ironic [not really]. I have always been impacted by this moabite woman. She was honorable when honor did not require her to be so. She followed her sad, bitter, hurting mother-in-law out of love. One of the most poignant passages of the book is when she vows to follow Naomi- no matter what the cost. The end shows us the gift of redemption. I love the book! I remember writing a letter to Sammy when we were engaged and enclosing that same passage. But did I really mean it? Lol! Of course I did, except it is easier to write when everything behind you seems dim compared to the future. Cue picture frame motto! In slowing down, I have been challenged to enjoy every moment for what it is. No looking ahead or behind. Just enjoying today! Praise God for the gift we have been given. This is just the beginning! 

Daddy-daughter date

LOVE THEM!!!!❤️❤️

Empty house

 Sitting in an empty room is a little strange! Especially when it once held your belongings and loved ones. Slowly, day by day, it has returned to the plain shell we moved into. A house is just that. A home is what you make of that house. I am reminded of our first "house"- a 10x10 room that held all of our dreams and was filled with love. Oh how far we have come from the two naive kids that started off on this journey! Now, 16 years, 2 kids and a dog have changed our perspective. But, one thing has not left our mind. We are always looking forward to what God is going to do! So tonight as I sit here in this empty house for the last time, I don't have to be sad at what once was, but I get to look forward to what will be! Anyways, Isn't looking forward to something so much better than looking back? I choose to think so! God is constantly calling us to move forward down the road He is paving for us. Calling us to press on towards the goal of Heaven.

On a side note - we were visited by a runaway puppy today! He was so sweet and cuddly. Of course Leah wasn't here! She ALWAYS misses the fun! 

 

 God is my portion and my delight; my hope in whom I have trust.

Pain rips, sears, floods

With overwhelming vengeance

Hopeless, desperate for more 

To satisfy it's craving 

Leaving devastation in its wake Ravaging deliberately the tenderness of flesh

A place where no man sees

Where no sun shines

A hollow grave lay deep within the heart

Where once was flourishing life

BUT GOD

Who came in Light

And penetrated deep in

sorrow-filled wells

With His own flesh and blood replaced

The aimless wanderings of 

Disabled creatures

Once paralyzed in anguish

Now free and whole

Basked in the glow of warmth

Pouring forth from infinite 

Grace and mercy

Entombed in man from eternity

Available to all who open their eyes

And see the hand that reaches out

From death to life

We are transformed with

Burdens to lay aside and armor to fight

The searing, ripping, jolts no more

The pain - reminders that we are

Waiting for Our groom to come

And whisk away His bride for

ETERNITY

Where pain is just a memory

And blissful prose and melody

Will drip from tongues of perfect beings

In harmonious anthems 

to the One who came and ransomed captive His people

With Love

In High School, I enjoyed writing poems. This poem was written after an incredibly terrible time in my life. It caused me to turn my back on The Lord for a brief season. I hardened my heart to His voice, and I was miserable. I wrote this when I stopped fighting His will in my life. I found it in one of my old journals. It is funny because reading it reminded me of the day so vividly, but I hadn't thought of that day since. I guess that is the reason one journals in the first place? It was a summer evening and I was so over everything in my life. I ruined all options in my life because of my response to this situation. I allowed it to take away all the things I worked so hard for. That evening had marked one year from this terrible event. I had kept it in because it seemed the best thing to do at the time. But it changed me in ways that I still deal with today. That night, however, I sat in my favorite chair at the library and wrote that poem. It was the beginning of a greater work God was doing in my life. A work that will continue until I am home with Him! 

Best dog ever!!!

Oh, Coco! The best running partner a girl could ever have! I will miss you this year! You, by far, will be the most difficult part of leaving! I look forward to the time we get to include you in our family once again.

This week is going to be the most difficult by far! I have come to terms with so many things, but a Coco has been the hardest. I am blessed that she will be loved! Yesterday was hard for me. I couldn't even say goodbye. Why is it easy to bid friends farewell, but the thought of a year without my doggy makes me a mess? Maybe it is because she loves unconditionally. Well, she will be missed.

Unattached

Man! I do not like packing! Today was supposed to be easy! Leah had already packed before she left for a sleepover. It was supposedly ready for painting. HA! Well, I really hope Leah wasn't too attached to anything, because it really is all packed now! (Maybe most is packed in the trash)
Each kid was given a box- 14"x25"- to fill for Hungary. Clothes, shoes, whatever they wanted to take. It is strange how unattached to things you become when you can only bring what fits in a box. I am realizing how unattached I am to everything! I just want to throw it all out, give it away, or sell it. I guess I have just had such an upheaval this past summer that I realize none of these things we hold onto really matter. Sure, here on earth they make a difference. But oh how much junk we have! In closets, in drawers. Junk everywhere! I cannot believe how much we stored away! Books, bags, papers, so much that I hadn't even remembered storing! I think after getting rid of everything, we have about 2-3 boxes per room. Crazy! All the things we thought we needed but never even gave a second thought!  It has made packing a lot easier!
In just over a week we will move our family away from everything they have ever known! They are so excited! Monday starts school, along with the mad dash to finish everything up state-side.
New adventures await. First Hungary, then who knows? God- that's who! I am starting to miss everything a lot less. I am able to walk away from things that seemed so overwhelming before. I am beginning to realize that change was inevitable, and I am so glad God is guiding us through this one. I am also learning to "let it go" and stop worrying about the "what if's" of life. I am so glad for God's peace. I have been reading a book about Grace, and it has been a constant reminder of how much God loves us. I was blessed by this today, "Grace mean that God already loves us as much as an infinite God can possibly love." God loves us, me, as much as He is capable of- infinite and immeasurable. That is the God we are adopted by! That is our Father. The One who saw our life from the beginning and sees it to the end. The completed work. Oh the hope that brings! Now, to finish packing!

Worship The Lord!

Worship
An act of adoration and praise
Love poured out generously from one person onto a being or entity deemed worthy

Worship has always been a huge part of who I am. Growing up, I was never fanatical. Not regarding boy bands, or pop culture. Not in regards to fashion or even activities. Maybe in regards to education (cough cough *nerd*). The one area I fixated on was music. I loved it. Not your average radio station melody. REAL music. Written on staff paper with lines and dots, representing beauty poured out from the composer's heart with passion and pain. It was exhilarating to hear. To FEEL. I remember going to the symphony with friends (no, they weren't 50) and sitting in the audience. I would close my eyes and let the music overwhelm me, like an ocean's tide shifting and swaying my emotions in its power. I would travel the journey. The ups, downs. Everywhere it took me. I would be so enthralled in its splendor that I found myself holding my breath! The gift of a musician's fingers flying over strings and keys articulating a beautiful story. Every musician poured into their role and released the finished work in unison. They were just as awed as I was. My mind would be swept away in the tone and dynamics of the piece. It was wonderful! When we left, no one was able to put into words the feelings we had experienced. We all just knew. The somber joy caused by the immersion of our heart was inexplicable.

This past March, I was blessed to share on the topic of worship with the women at Calvary IB. It was tough, because it is almost impossible to take a part of who you are and expose it for others to see. Like the moments after the symphony- words were hard to formulate. It was basically a tutorial on the "hows" and "whys" of worship. The only way to help them see was to usher them in. We spent the remainder of the time surrendering our hearts, minds,wills and weaknesses to the One who is worthy. The One who laid His life freely for each and every one of us. What an amazing feeling to come to a place where your hands are lifted high and your heart is completely yielded. Imagine the sight from God's vantage point! His crazy, messy, sweet, emotional children, down at His feet holding their arms up to Him! Their longing and need weighing heavy in His presence. A longing to be held. To be near. Oh how He loves the praises of His people! Not because He loves to be praised! But because He LOVES HIS CHILDREN! Why do we fight the way we were created? Why do we fix our eyes and heart to worship things that are no where near worthy and replace the One who deserves all? Oh the selfishness of man. I am so grateful that God sees us and knows us. I am also grateful for the heart He placed in us and the longing He has given us. Worship The Lord because He is worthy!!!

On a side note - 16 years ago I said "I do" to a young man who would change the course of my life forever! He is strong, passionate, caring, loving, and my best friend. Some of the years have been tough, but the foundation of God in our life has brought is through many difficult situations and will continue to keep us. Happy Anniversary, Sammy!
Deuteronomy 4:29
"Seek The Lord your God, and you will find Him if you seek Him with all your heart and with all your soul."

The weight of the world rests...

I have a horrible tendency to take everything and place it on my shoulders. If something needs to be done, I will do it. I am trying to learn to share the load. This is new and poses its own complications. The control freak in me is fighting for life as I put it to death. The the emotional side of me wants to simply give up all control and become robotic, but that is not a possibility either. There is a balance of perfect peace In there. Will I ever find it? I pray I do!

It is strange to live in a house that is for rent. People drive by many times daily and slow down in front to take a look. It is pretty creepy when you think about it! Strangers looking intently in the windows of what used to be your home. People vying to make memories in a place that will soon forget you existed.

Isn't that life? A jigsaw puzzle- little pieces put together to make a scene. Up until now I feel like our life was a preschool puzzle- complete with small handles and shapes cut out to the outline of each piece. So simplistic and centered around our favorite objects or interests.

Now it is time to grow up and put the  board puzzles away. The new puzzle has been emptied out in front of us with all it's foreign pieces. There is very little clarity in the pile, and that is a good thing! When the puzzle was a baby puzzle, we were able to take control and put it together ourselves. This puzzle requires help. This is how it was supposed to be all along.

God holds the lid and knows what it is supposed to look like- not us. We can only allow Him to put the puzzle together. I am watching how as My husband and I let go of all the things we were trying to do- all our puzzle cutouts-God works things out. We are still required to participate in the puzzle process, but we are not putting it together on our own.

Oh puzzles! I realize I miss the babies more than I thought! I can see them sitting at their little tables in their little chairs with their wooden puzzles. Their chubby hands fight to get the pieces in just right. Some faces are complex and focused, others begin to play with the pieces in frustrated distraction. Help was rarely employed, but when asked they wanted complete deliverance until they caught on- then they desired independence.

What lessons we learn about our human nature through working with children! Lord, we are such stubborn, selfish people! You are so patient and loving! Help us to yield to You and trust You with all we have!