Sunday is the new Friday

Sunday morning walk

I am so sore!!! When will I ever learn?
It all started last week... Well I guess this summer. I have been on a liquid diet, which always means some weight loss. I hadn't realized how much until we broke down and bought a scale (for Sammy's mental health) I figured cardio was enough to tighten up. Last week, however, I noticed my arms were flabby. Incredibly flabby. Like, don't clap flabby. So, I set out on iTunes to see what I could find beyond planking. I was so overwhelmed until, peeking out from the various Zumba wannabes and hip hop workouts was an old familiar friend. Mr Billy Blanks. (Side note: if you ever want a great laugh, look up his son's workout DVD! 😂😂😂😂) He just released a new series this year, and it had great reviews. It was called Tae Bo express. Basically, it is Tae Bo cut into 8 separate 10 minute workouts so you can customize it. I have fond memories of Billy when we saw each other 2 times a day for 3 months after I had Leah. We were BFF's. Of course I had to get it! Last night, I decided to try it out. I had time to kill since I was roasting pumpkins and the boys were playing some killing game on the computer. I put on my tennis shoes, set up the computer and started the first workout- Boot Camp express. Talk about jumping right in! While much older, he still can jump! He also still lies about "last sets" and forgets how to count. It didn't take long before I realized I was going to be sore! Somewhere between the traveling sumo jumps and the burpees I wanted to die! And that was only after 10 minutes! The next one was kicks and punches. I loved that one. Then came abs. I HATE abs. A lot. It also reminded me that I hated it then, also. After abs was ...warm up? That was when I looked online and realized they were out of order! So I (gladly) stopped to put them in order. By then I was dripping in sweat! It was pretty gross! Well, I am supposed to do it again today. I am going to be glad if I can walk up the stairs or lift my hands! Cardio? No Problem! I have been doing 5-6 miles a day. But isolated toning? Oh how I hate it! Well, I guess I better go start it! I hope your Sunday is great!

Hungarian Vandals! ;)

Fall is in the air!

Plagues

It seems like Hungary is a place of Plagues! We arrived to the plague of hornets. Those bugs are the creepiest, largest bugs I have ever seen! The first week we were here one decided to fly into our place. Sammy killed it after a (quite funny) bit of a fight. The next evening, 6-10 of them were dive-bombing our screens. It was insane! So, I looked it up online and found out that, when threatened, hornets let out an attack pheromone. Basically, they are gangster bugs. They did not relent, either! We ended up killing a few more in our house before they killed the hive and bugs. Next plague was Mosquitos, which are still happening! We have had bees, flies, lice (well , not us praise God), and now... Ladybugs. Yup, red spotted bug flying right at your face, covering all the buildings- everywhere! The small children are in love. It is adorable to watch them chase the bugs and try to catch them. It has been so beautiful and warm this week- it is hard to believe that it is supposed to be incredibly cold next week! The way the weather changes here reminds me of Little House on the Prairie.

Today, I decided to make gluten free tortillas. They have been a nemesis of sorts for the past couple years. I am always leery every time I bake or cook. Everything I use here is so different, I never know what I am going to get! But, it worked! I was so happy! I made 2 beautiful, flexible flour tortillas. I could only manage to eat one, but just knowing I have dough in the fridge and it is possible makes me so excited!!! It's the little things!

Time just seems to fly by. I did not realize it is already Oct 11th! We have been here for over a month! We have done so much, so I know it has been that long, but it seems like we just got here! This week, we watched a show that had simultaneous episodes about a dog, Thanksgiving, Black Friday, and Christmas complete with traditions. Add to that the first year I missed the PW conference, and it made for a terrible case of sadness. A reminder of the fact that life goes on. People move on. We will move on. It also reminded me that we have no place to call home. That was the hardest! When this is all through, we will have to start again. We will have to find a new home. We will have to create new memories and traditions wherever we are at. It was also the first time I allowed myself to realize that home may be outside of San Diego. Being here is helping me see beyond where I am. Beyond what I can imagine or control. The things that terrified me so much the past 3 years are gone and now I can see. I am no longer afraid of loss because there is nothing to lose! But it doesn't make it easy. Knowing that, I have to make a conscious effort to focus on today. It is super easy to get caught up in the "what ifs" of next year. But they will be waiting for us. So, I will look for ways to make this holiday season wonderful, but it has been terribly tough to find a comfort for missing Coco! Good night!!

Remembering Truth

Silver Linings

Silver Linings

In the midst of trials, I have been trying to find  silver linings. That is not always easy! I am fighting to face today and look for the blessing in it. Not tomorrow's blessing, or next year's blessing. Today. The silver lining today is that I don't have to go back. I am here, now. I am not there, yesterday. I have made it one more step. I am surrounded by beauty. I am loved and cherished by my God. If I choose to go back inside the depths of pain I have been delivered from, than that is on me. My sadness is my choice. My pain is my perspective. I am the one robbed of today and ultimately- Satan wins! So, while my heart tries to coddle my "right to hold on", my mind reminds me of truth. Grace won out. I am saved. I am His. Nothing in this world can compare to that truth. Even when it tries. Lord, help me to hold on to You and look for the silver linings. Even on days like today! 

Street vendors: my favorite 

Stillness of the Heart

 There is something about fresh morning air, fog, green grass, and fall leaves that captivate the eyes! New experiences everywhere! Today, 5 miles was a breeze with this newfound thing called a "season"! Somehow, there has to be a way to combine a tranquil ocean and an eerie forest in perfect harmony, right? Yeah- I know...

This morning, I was really impacted by a song that came on. It is called "You Speak" by Audrey Assad. It wasn't the first song that came on. I had music going the entire time. Yet, this song broke through my thoughts and demanded I focus on it. As I listened, I realized that she was singing exactly what I have been reminding my heart every moment. It is so encouraging to know that you are not alone in your struggles. The chorus says," In the silence of the heart You speak- it is there that I will know You and You will know me". There it is! My heart's cry as of late. I want to know God! I want Him to know me. I want Him to speak. Tears proceeded (because apparently I have become that person now) and I began to recall my devotional time. It has been rough reading the account of Saul and David- the stories of failure, the pursuit of evil. Instead of looking at it from a redemptive state, I have allowed myself to see the humanity of it. The fact that David ran for his life. That Jonathan was an amazing friend. That Saul was jealous and petty. That there is power in the voice of a King, and when He takes matters from God's hand and places them in His own, God takes that VERY seriously! So pondering and chewing on this section of scripture has left my heart full of loudness that has clouded the voice of God. His grace, love, sacrifice. It had kept me from the quiet place of stillness that allows Him to speak. Funny how we can ransom our quiet time with God! We can take time that is meant for God to speak and talk it all up with our ideals and thoughts. The song was a reminder that God is always speaking. Always! Sometimes, I just need to stop talking and listen. Be still! Not in actions. But in my heart. Stillness in my heart! How does one even begin to do that? I guess you just stop. Stop talking. Stop trying to figure it out. Stop interjecting. Then, the clarity comes. Oh Lord! Help me! This task is going to be harder than I know! :)

"God has put into each of our lives a void that cannot be filled by the world. We may leave God or put Him on hold, but He is always there, patiently waiting for us... To turn back to Him" - Emilie Barnes

"God waits for us in the inner sanctuary of the soul. He welcomes us there." Richard Foster

"To The Lord one day is as a thousand years, and a thousand years is as one day. The Lord is not slow in doing what He promises- the way some people understand slowness. But God is being patient with you. He does not want anyone to be lost, but he wants all people to change their hearts and lives." 2 Peter 3:8-9 NCV

Foggy morning splendor!

sometimes

Sometimes, you find yourself in places you never imagined you'd be in! It is actually comical! Yet, this is real. This is our life. I am beginning to embrace it, and even enjoy it! (minus the fact there are rodents in the walls) I still struggle to come to terms with the end of our last season, but I have hope for a new one. Tonight the kids were talking about where they would go to school when we get back. It was the first time they realized we were not going back to what we left. Leah was a little sad. Christian was great. He was excited to think of where we would/could go. Leah was sad and could only think of what she would no longer have. I am on the fence. I am just trying to find my place in this time here. I cannot think of going back because I have no idea what that even means. I do know we don't have to know until next year. So I will look around and enjoy this small country village and try and rest. I will spend time with my family and be surrounded by people who love Jesus. We will reach out to others and make new friends. Then, we will go back and start over again. Here are a couple quotes from Oswald Chambers that has encouraged me today:

Reflected peace is the proof that you are right with God because you are at liberty to turn your mind to Him. Oswald Chambers 

Lay it all out before Him, and in the face of difficulty, bereavement and sorrow, hear Him say, "Let not your heart be troubled." Oswald Chambers

Wilderness

Waiting... I am waiting to go home, so I am not able to "be" here. Have you ever experienced that feeling? I am waiting to find home. I am waiting to return to it. I really don't even know what "home" is anymore. This week I began a new study from Beth Moore. It was a little bittersweet, but very needed. It is on the book of Deuteronomy. Yup- Deuteronomy! I know, you may be asking the same questions I did. I was skeptical but not disappointed! It was exactly what I needed to hear. Her main point being that, like the children of Israel, God did not bring us out of something to leave us there. He brought us out to bring us in. I am not quite sure what that means in my life right now. I mean, at face value I get it. I understand the concept, but I don't know what it will look like. The children of Israel were called out of bondage, they were asked to go through the wilderness, but they were not intended to stay there for 40 years! Their rebellion kept them there that long. They were delivered from slavery to go through the wilderness- not wander around it. How many of us hang out in the wilderness- pitiful and hopeless? We are provided for so we stay. The wilderness is meant to bring us into a reliance of our Heavenly Father. The Israelites watched as God removed them from bondage, parted seas, guided them, and provided their nourishment daily. Yet, they camped there. Fear kept them from going forward. They stayed- stuck- for 40 years. Unable to see that God was guiding them through the wilderness to give them the promised land. They are a reminder to us. God's chosen people. We are not to remain in the wilderness and wander. God is not bringing us out to leave us, but to draw us closer to Him. Then, He will guide us to what He has for us. What a difficult thing to swallow! I have never been in a place of such uncertainty in my life. I feel afraid. Unsure of God's grace and abilities to work in our situation. It is so hard to find the strength to keep moving. I am beginning to see why they camped in the wilderness! So, waiting? I guess I can do this! Only through the grace of God. He will help me through this strange new season of "wilderness" and guide us to the things He has for us. I must simply rely upon His steadfastness to persevere in this.