😳

Monday: reality is beginning to set in. We spent most of the day running around the county building getting all of our paperwork in order. We also officially found out the dog must stay. Now, we look for her new home. That was one of the hardest conversations to have with Leah. She doesn't understand. We are still holding out for a gym but that looks impossible as well. So, basically God is asking for everything. I feel numb. I have been compliant, and I know God knows what is happening in my life and none of this is a surprise to Him. How easy it was to live for Him and trust Him when He required me to tip toe slightly from my comfort zone. How difficult this season has been when He is asking me to die to myself completely for His sake and glory. I vascillate between confusion and guilt. I am confused because I am not sure what He is doing and I feel guilty because I don't want to do what He is asking. Ultimately, when the time comes, I have to be willing to yield control to Him. Sammy was unsure if I was even going to go to do the paperwork today. Honestly, I had to pep talk myself the entire morning. This has been a huge struggle of attitude. I have had to spend a lot of time in solitude begging the Lord to be my strength and pour His grace and mercy into me so I can function in it. As the countdown begins and the closure of this season comes near, I have to trust He has got this. I know Sammy doesn't have this. I know I DEFINITELY don't have this! But God does. People want to throw going away parties, but honestly I can barely hold it together for church services. I am not good with goodbyes. I haven't had to say too many in my life. Well, thanks for all those who are praying for us. I feel the strength and know that it is because of Him that I can resolve myself to go forward. In my life, in my walk, in everything!