Make all things beautiful

Crafting. It has become something of a verb in our culture. This month, I realized it has no place in the Hungarian language. I thought I could live in white bleakness for one year- but I was wrong! Not only was I incapable of such a thing, but Leah was unable to as well! She even used her own money to purchase decor for her room, though I use that term loosely! IKEA was somewhat helpful. I purchased paint (yup- the kids junk I would never even look at back home) and some lanterns. Add that to the cheesy watercolors, the lame brush, the white glue, and scissors I had, I was in business! So, I tapped into my ghettotivity and began to scour Pinterest for ideas. As we opened curtains and bedding, I realized I could use the cardboard. So I saved it all. I added it to my toilet paper rolls and egg cartons. Think hoarders mixed with the unconventional challenge on Project Runway- only without all the supplies. Last week was a major score! Glue gun! However, nowhere sells glue sticks. It did come with 2 of its own. 2 mini glue sticks. 2 clear, 3.5 cm (yes, I went metric) glue sticks. I almost missed them, on account of them being SO TINY! I am not sure what I am supposed to glue with that! Yet, I tried. Only to realize that the gun does not get very hot. I probably would have had warmer glue if I sat on the glue sticks. After a small meltdown, I'd like to say I finished my project. I cannot say that. I can say that if I were in Avonlea then I would be Anne Shirley and Hungary would be Fred. I am currently sitting on the couch staring at the beautiful sunset, avoiding the table where my project waits and trying to figure out if it is really worth all that trouble. Honestly, it is a common theme in my thoughts lately. Struggling to find the worth in the things I put my hands to. In an effort to please God, I feel like I have failed. I feel like I let Him and everyone else down. I cannot even tell you how often I feel like giving up. I don't really know how to move beyond this feeling into real ones. I just keep moving forward, trusting that God is going to be faithful in my life. The funny thing is- I am not homesick or even wishing to be somewhere else. I am fine here. Hoarder crafting and all! I just need to feel something real again. Life has been so surreal this year that I struggle with believing God's promises. I know them, yet this is a time to let them sink into my heart. But, I cannot feel them. So it makes it tremendously hard to allow them to take root. Maybe they already are and I just need to keep watering them with God's word. Doing the things I know to be true- even when I cannot feel the blessings that are so real around me. Well, I guess I should go analyze my project and see how I can "make it work"! Goodnight from this side of the world!

Now to find some glue!