TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
Yesterday I ventured out on a new road. I decided to venture outside of the quaint city road I have been jogging along. When I reached the square, I decided to make a left on the road that leads to Palfa. I have been terrified of this road. It is a little curvy, no sidewalk, 2 lane, cars and buses going 80mph+, and laden with bugs! Throw in the uneven gravel and you can see why I was certain it would be my last journey! It was just that I needed more time. I needed to clear my head. Get it to stop. Boy did it work! Between dodging holes and bugs I was occupied. Add to that the heart attacks from speeding vehicles and it made for my best timed miles ever! Who knew impending death would speed a person up?
On the way back, I began to get overheated. I was forced to stop about 6 mi in. Once I did, I began to look around me. How was it that I did not notice how incredibly beautiful everything was? I was literally right next to a river I didn't even notice! I ran right past a herd of cattle grazing. I passed many scenes of splendor. Why? Because I was so focused on where I was going. Occupied with what lied ahead. As I sat on the stairs that led down to the river, I thought of the things I was running from. The thoughts I was trying to push out of my mind; that had ultimately led me here.
I have really been struggling lately. I could tell you all the areas and what not, but the bottom line is trust. Not people trust- God trust. I have been searching for answers I already know. I have been killing myself to go around the one thing He has asked of me. I can see it. When I dig into the center of my heart, the core of it is me- selfish me. As I have gone through the account of Saul and David, I have really been struggling through it. Mainly, because I am looking more like Saul and less like David. Saul is searching. He was given a position of King. He blew it. David came into the picture. Saul sought David- hunted him even. David never responded in vengeance. It got to the point where Saul was ending the chapter praising David and God, and starting the next chapter hunting him. Saul got to the point that he wanted to hear God so badly, he went in disguise to a medium to hear from Samuel, who was dead. Man, how do we get that far? How does one get so messed up? Easy- self-reliance. Saul relied on his abilities. Yet, he was not secure in them. Everything about his reign shows us that. After reading, I started the second lesson of the Beth Moore series I am listening to. That was what started the entire running journey. As I was listening, it was on trust. She was sharing the verses Deut 6:4-9. Look it up if you don't know it already! Verses 4-5 were particularly difficult because it required something I have not wanted. I hear what God is asking and I know Who He is, but am I doing it? Do I love The Lord with all my heart and with all my strength and with all my might? Sadly, I had to confess the answer to that. I couldn't as I was reading and listening, but when I ran down that road, I realized I knew the answer already. I did not. Because if I did, the center of my heart would be Him. I would trust Him. The past few years have been like that two-lane road. Plodding along, not taking time to stop and see what is around me. Not trusting God with what He is doing. There is so much to be said about solitude and hearing God's truth. I am learning that I may not always like what I hear, but it is so wonderful to know that God is always there to speak!
"Who is like You, O Lord!"
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