Today we cleaned out the sheds. In the process, we found all of our pictures. It was so fun to go through! Baby pictures, my old pictures, Sammy's old pictures, pictures of us before we were married. Laughter was abundant. The kids were dying at some of our pictures. Leah was mortified at my striped bathing suit top and my floral board shorts. Christian was amused by the various ways we exploited them in pose and props. Oh Picture People! How you got the best of their youth! They both laughed (hysterically) at the many Olan Mills pictures I had taken- during and after High School 😁 (don't judge! You know you have one)
The night took a turn when Leah opened the lid to a box that made her curious. She picked up a bright pink envelope and asked," what is this?" Immediately, I yelled," NO! Don't read it!" She dropped it and looked afaid. I did not mean to startle her, but she had entered a land she did not want to go to. The box was filled with letters and cards from the year Sammy and I were engaged. I had no idea what the Kim of 17 years ago wrote in those letters, but there was NO WAY I was going to let her read them!
So, Sammy and I pulled them all out. I read the first one I wrote and it was super creepy! The content was all biblical and great, but it was a back-to-the-future moment! It was as if the girl who wrote those things knew exactly what I needed to hear right now. It is normal when you are going through something and a book ministers to you. Or maybe a quote or verse. But you? 17 years ago? Writing prayer and biblical wisdom for EXACTLY the things you are facing at this very time? SUPER CREEPY! And encouraging! Because that means God was already preparing me for this moment! How cool is that?
So, in reading all my letters I realized so many things. I was way more spiritual 17 years ago! Lol. But really- I was pretty preachy! I also learned that Sammy was my 2nd best friend (only to Jesus) and reminded him of that in basically every letter! I found out I promised to make him cookies I very well may have never made, but it's ok! He never took me on the picnic he promised me so we are even. I also learned I was cruel! I would send 4-5 page letters- front and back- almost daily to him. You may think that is sweet until you realize he is dyslexic and had such a hard time reading! It's ok! He got me back. I am happy to announce that his spiritual parallels have come leaps and bounds from 17 years ago! I laughed so hard I cried at some of them!!!
Man, Love is so blinding!!!! I also found a torn picture of just him. You know, the photo booth strips. I didn't understand it and thought maybe I tore it, until I came across a letter from him that explained it all. It said, " I have a picture for you. I tore someone out of it. Don't even ask who, but I did and kept me because I looked cute. I especially liked my jacket here." Yup- I married that one!! We laughed so much tonight. Memories are fun. I have had some sad ones lately, but tonight was refreshing. I often found myself reading my own writing and wondering who I even was!!! Such faith and trust. Reliance on the promise of God's word. Transparency. Freedom. The longer we live in this world, the more it wears on us. The very real struggles of that young girl pale in comparison to the things I face in this moment, but the truth of God's words then are no different now. What a weird thing to go back in time and see God working in your life. Tonight's reminder came at the perfect time. I am so glad to look back at a life built on trust in God, seeing that He is the faithful one in this relationship!
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